Homeschool Facts

Dr. James Lehman’s assertion is that kids don’t know how to problem-solve, and that’s why they act out in inappropriate ways. It’s a coping mechanism they’ve developed to force someone else to solve the problem at hand for them. What he does with The Total Transformation Program is help us parents give our kiddos the tools they need to solve their problems. The tools that promote responsibility taking and accountability.

I am sharing 3 effective parenting tips that will help solidify the reality of how quickly and simply you can getting things at home back on track.

1. Make direct statements. Be straightfoward in telling the child what you want, be firm and clear, then walk away. Don’t be worried that you are seeming powerless here. You have placed the responsibility and accountability for his actions squarely on his shoulder and that is powerful!

2. Disconnect. Discontinue interacting with your child when they become abusive or lack respect. This becomes a power vacuum and you won’t believe how quickly things turn around. We have started using this effective parenting skill and are amazed how well it works. Start interactions again when the child accepts responsbility for his actions.

3. The consequences need to be task-oriented and time-limited. When able, make the punishment fit the crime. Like, “no phone privileges until you finish your schoolwork”. Your child cannot be punished into behavior that is acceptable. It should be short term, not prison term.

In conclusion, don’t expect overnight results. Results will come, trust me, just not all at once. And then the blame will be replaced with gratitude.

P.S. The way your child talks or acts in response must not change the way you take care of the behavior. Consistent parenting will be the one underlying action that will make positive changes happen. So if you make a mistake, don’t let it derail you. One sure thing here, you will get another chance to get it right!

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